My Life as a Squirrel???

So, we are still at the beginning of a New Year........... and there are endless possibilities for grand adventures.............. As well as, endless lessons about life to be learned. One of my favorite stories with a message is the Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka.............here is a version of transformation to consider that could possibly fulfill a resolution for the New Year.

My husband, and I started a diet like we do every first of January. We really tried to think about what foods would be non-fattening and healthy for us. We looked at squirrels and decided they were trim.......so why not eat what they eat. They are cool. They have a relationship with people. They are generally clever and persistent. What's not to like at this point about becoming like one for the sake of a few pounds.

They are notorious for working in the garden, maybe not always in a positive way. I mean they are small to medium sized rodents, we could become one with them if we ate the right food. Just like us they can be fed by hand. I mean ...........come on......... they are like us in so many ways. They have spring fever in captivity too.........and are very protective of their homes. What an easy transition this will be.

They can cause power outages, and have even brought down the NASDAQ stock market twice.........starting to see the similarities now(?) ah huh.......in a big way! Urban squirrels have learned to get a great amount of food from over-generous humans............so there is a ray of hope even on a diet.

Squirrels like to keep warm by snuggling..........that's not too bad either. I can identify with the hiding of the food as well..........just to make sure...........especially any chocolate flavored nuts. The first Johnny Appleseed may have really been a squirrel, and not human at all.......because buried nuts sometimes grow into trees.............that's helpful.

This squirrel metamorphosis is beginning to look very promising.....................love the fluffy tail too, and the sultry dark eyes.

Wait.................eek............................!!!!!!!!

Wrong........squirrels may eat nuts, and seeds..........but they do not need pounds and pounds of them to make a meal. They may only weigh a couple of pounds, but do you know how many calories there are in nuts. Bad idea........too, it's difficult to keep that fast jaw nibbling action going......and I abhor fat cheeks, especially in pictures.

So the question is.........never mind about my husband.............Do you really think I look that fat in 2009?